Stretching my wings

I don't have any illusions about this project. I am going to fizzle out, or struggle to find my angle, or trudge on awkwardly. But I have no other medium right now in which to stretch out a few words as I want to; I think it is worth the experiment. I often say that Facebook is little better than a huge community bulletin board for you to post your business for the rest of the world to look over as they go past. I don't know what Twitter is, exactly, besides something clique-y. With every social media platform, you are putting yourself out there and hoping somebody notices. The expectations for how you present yourself vary from platform to platform, but each one has its own informal rules, etiquette, tone—and if you do not conform at least somewhat, it can be difficult to find your niche. It's a craft, and not one I have been able to convince myself fits into my life to learn. 

With a blog, the craft of writing feels familiar. It is structured like a diary or journal, or perhaps more formally a column. I've done those. There is still the reality of globally casting your thoughts in fixed form, and I don't know why writing in this medium feels less exposed. I guess it feels less like flailing your arms for attention on a busy thoroughfare, and more like a little shop tucked away on a side street—hidden, except for those who know about it, and they tend to be there by choice. 

I'm a slow writer, usually, needing to get my thoughts out before organizing them into coherent form and then going through a process of polishing that is like simmering a stew—I have to let it sit for a while, stirring or poking at it every now and then to see if it is done. It's a little discouraging, because it yields little in the way of finished pieces but a lot of potential ones that may or may not get dated, turn into something interesting, or be "safe" enough to publish. Right now my question is, do I even want anyone to discover this site? Do I want to invite anyone in? Right now the answers are: yes, and no, respectively. I write to share; but the exercise of being prepared to share is different from that of soliciting others. For now, the quietness of this site is a buffer that allows me to be free from the influence of being judged.